Another night of sleeplessness, I really need a space to store my unhappiness temporarily (hopefully permanently), so this shall be it. I don't know when this trend will end, it seemed so boundless. I have forgotten when I last felt happy and no amount of chilling out with friends or doing the stuff I like seem to help solve this problem.

I am undergoing a deep slump in my life. Never felt so lethargic, everyday spent doing absolutely nothing meaningful. I don't know whether this is regarded as depression. The root of the problem is my father's illness. As I see him getting weaker and showing signs of his age, it just pains me. Although I wasn't really close to him since young, his sufferings from the needles and the various complicated chemicals running through his body, causing pain to him hurts everybody close to him. I have never considered myself to be an emotional person but everytime I thought of losing him to illness just caused my tears to flow uncontrollably.

Dear U
我们都很想念

你在你离开以后这些日子里

以往的每次想起眼泪都象汗水一样的决堤

你临走前的那些日子

我们每一个人都尽量的掩饰

不让你看到伤心的样子

心里的痛苦永远无法解释

看着疾病不断侵蚀你的生命

多想让时间暂停让你再感受多点温馨

你松开了双手带走你的温柔连说声再见的时间也(都)没有

只希望你能快乐永远无忧

一切(所有)的幸福都在你左右

你松开了双手带走你的温柔

我们还会相亲相爱到永久

遇到风雨的时候紧

握彼此的(双)手你的爱已足够成为我们坚强的理由

最后的那段时间里我一回家就会去看看你

多想用自己全部的能力

换你坚强生还的勇气

妹妹经常在夜里千万次地呼唤妈妈的名字

或许她还不曾想起最爱她的你已经不在这里

I hope to use this song as my inspiration to get back on track pretty soon.