A simple life is all I ask for. Not one where I get to enjoy the luxuries of life, days eating simple 3 meals soaked in the warmth and love of a happy family will be ideal. As simple as it seems, the reality often presents the other case. To attain such heavenly status, exisiting ties must be improved/maintained/reinforced and new ties must be forged. Obviously, I am nowhere near this far dream, as ascertained by examples below.
My current family is going to be wrecked sooner or later. It's simply Heaven's says when it is due time. My friends are just playing a bit part role in my life, super duper soul mates are just lacking or gone unnoticed because of my own problems in confiding in them. The situation is now even more complicated with myself not really wanting to interact much with anyone. A deep sorry to everyone, not that I don't bothered, it's just indescribable. Making new friends have stagnated as I go into my final year of studies, not that it isn't impt but not on high priority with my current agony and insolence. As urban dwellers, you get to know dozens of people but those who you truely know in some sense is perhaps just a hatful, getting to know them more in a deeper sense will certainly be much far fulfilling than meeting more aquaintances.
The same theory will apply when I deal with BGR. I never know how to or engage in flirting around with girls, or even a more serious matter of fooling around. That perhaps explains my pathetic love life. Getting to know intensely the special one is truely far more impt than meeting more girl friends and give yourself more choices. That said, I seriously think my stance will change soon if the situation don't improve. I'm certainly not looking for a perfect dream beauty with absolutely no weaknesses. A matured lady with a kind soul and willing to accept me will do. A tinge of feminity, cuteness and not being XL size and above will be added bonuses. Plenty of them around in the vast world, and even in the mini red dot Singapore but I have gotten none. Many girls have commented that I am a nice guy but what's the use, there's always this famous saying of nice guys finishing last and a not so famous saying created by myself that NICE just means "Nothing Interesting Cockanathan Elephant", that's crap I know. I have no lack of female friends but progressing past the friend stage is an ardeous task that takes the extra mile to make the effort. I am prepared for it but maybe sometimes it's just false hope. I especially hate the process of guessing the hints and replies set forth by girls, okay I'm a superblockhead and I probably fail much more terribly in this test than any exams I have sat for. So be it, I can just continue to wait for more opportunities in the future. Hopefully by I reach the age of 35, I can start a new happy family with kids. If not, probably have to go buy a foreign bride from Vietnam. Looks like I have to start establishing contacts with the boss of Vietnam Brides International Matchmaking, which I am going to interview in around 10 hours time for a research project. Do saikung for the sake of $. If I need his service in 10 years down the road, perhaps I will get a discount!
With my crestfallen state over this period, I have neglected my duties to the community, my volunteering endeavours have come to a standstill. I certainly miss the residents of IMH, and the special group of volunteer friends who have rendered great support to me during the difficult times. Still felt very bad about the hasty exit from my PD role and left so many things in a mess. Luckily, Priscilla helped and took over the role extremely well and with the help of many other seniors and members, things are able to continue running. As promised, I will be back and hope to pick things up in the next sem. That I think is the only way I can contribute back to the society as a volunteer since I can't do it as a profession. Social work is one of my choices but I did not take up for practical reasons, the renumeration involved. Being the only child, the financial burden in the future will be heavy so I can't really take up this route unless in the future when I become financially stable, then I can consider a mid-career switch.
Having lived for close to 23 yrs of life, it's time to do some reflections. There will be much more to reflect upon but not at this instance, perhaps later. Having felt so low for a while, certainly things will not be better if it continues. Thanks anyone for allowing me to chance upon one of my friend's blog, Kheng Guat, a very self-driven aspiring prison officer. It then allows me to inspire myself for the better. Cheers to a better future! Looking forward to the Taiwan holiday trip next month, hope it will refresh me.
My current family is going to be wrecked sooner or later. It's simply Heaven's says when it is due time. My friends are just playing a bit part role in my life, super duper soul mates are just lacking or gone unnoticed because of my own problems in confiding in them. The situation is now even more complicated with myself not really wanting to interact much with anyone. A deep sorry to everyone, not that I don't bothered, it's just indescribable. Making new friends have stagnated as I go into my final year of studies, not that it isn't impt but not on high priority with my current agony and insolence. As urban dwellers, you get to know dozens of people but those who you truely know in some sense is perhaps just a hatful, getting to know them more in a deeper sense will certainly be much far fulfilling than meeting more aquaintances.
The same theory will apply when I deal with BGR. I never know how to or engage in flirting around with girls, or even a more serious matter of fooling around. That perhaps explains my pathetic love life. Getting to know intensely the special one is truely far more impt than meeting more girl friends and give yourself more choices. That said, I seriously think my stance will change soon if the situation don't improve. I'm certainly not looking for a perfect dream beauty with absolutely no weaknesses. A matured lady with a kind soul and willing to accept me will do. A tinge of feminity, cuteness and not being XL size and above will be added bonuses. Plenty of them around in the vast world, and even in the mini red dot Singapore but I have gotten none. Many girls have commented that I am a nice guy but what's the use, there's always this famous saying of nice guys finishing last and a not so famous saying created by myself that NICE just means "Nothing Interesting Cockanathan Elephant", that's crap I know. I have no lack of female friends but progressing past the friend stage is an ardeous task that takes the extra mile to make the effort. I am prepared for it but maybe sometimes it's just false hope. I especially hate the process of guessing the hints and replies set forth by girls, okay I'm a superblockhead and I probably fail much more terribly in this test than any exams I have sat for. So be it, I can just continue to wait for more opportunities in the future. Hopefully by I reach the age of 35, I can start a new happy family with kids. If not, probably have to go buy a foreign bride from Vietnam. Looks like I have to start establishing contacts with the boss of Vietnam Brides International Matchmaking, which I am going to interview in around 10 hours time for a research project. Do saikung for the sake of $. If I need his service in 10 years down the road, perhaps I will get a discount!
With my crestfallen state over this period, I have neglected my duties to the community, my volunteering endeavours have come to a standstill. I certainly miss the residents of IMH, and the special group of volunteer friends who have rendered great support to me during the difficult times. Still felt very bad about the hasty exit from my PD role and left so many things in a mess. Luckily, Priscilla helped and took over the role extremely well and with the help of many other seniors and members, things are able to continue running. As promised, I will be back and hope to pick things up in the next sem. That I think is the only way I can contribute back to the society as a volunteer since I can't do it as a profession. Social work is one of my choices but I did not take up for practical reasons, the renumeration involved. Being the only child, the financial burden in the future will be heavy so I can't really take up this route unless in the future when I become financially stable, then I can consider a mid-career switch.
Having lived for close to 23 yrs of life, it's time to do some reflections. There will be much more to reflect upon but not at this instance, perhaps later. Having felt so low for a while, certainly things will not be better if it continues. Thanks anyone for allowing me to chance upon one of my friend's blog, Kheng Guat, a very self-driven aspiring prison officer. It then allows me to inspire myself for the better. Cheers to a better future! Looking forward to the Taiwan holiday trip next month, hope it will refresh me.
